The best writers are the ones just barely holding on to their sanity

 I came across a blog post yesterday that really blew my mind. I even got emotional. What a great post. It was one of the most honest blog posts I have read in quite some time. It was raw emotion and it really had me reflect on my own situation. Read it here.

I started to think - and came up with this title.

I'm going to be honest with you. I took a break from writing because I was holding on to my sanity.Considering this is national bullying prevention month. I thought this would be the perfect time to discuss. I didn't feel like writing anymore until recently. I was sent a few messages from some loyal readers who asked where I'd been and if I've given up on my blogging. I'd shy away form the real reason. To be honest, writing didn't make me as happy lately. Crazy when you think of it. Writing emotions should be a safe place.

Receiving messages like that - made me remember why I started this in the first place.

I believe we all go through hard times growing up. How can we not? We are constantly trying to find ourselves. I remember how it was in High School. I had put the past behind me. It made me who I am today. I can only look forward to the future and live in the present. I've had to deal with the side effects and understand that I am truly the only person who can make my life better. That I am the only one in charge of my own happiness. I thought I was done with it until recently.

I've been cyber bullied when I began writing my blog. The comments still come. Based on the comments, it was clear who was writing them and they do not know me in the slightest. But it does it still hurts. Being a professional and having class; it took every ounce of willpower to rise above it. Ask my man, I have a prideful attitude. Believe it or not; I never responded to the negativity except for one rant on facebook but it has not stopped. I can't stoop down to their level; I'd be no better than them. Instead, I'd turn to those who have shown support. The ones who truly mattered.

It was a little message that I could simply press delete. Sounds silly when you think about it but it does not change the fact that it would eat me up inside that I could be hated by someone who clearly does not know me. It feels like a dagger in your soul. Like you want to cry but it seems silly to cry. You want to respond to tell them they are wrong. You're told to just forget what they think. Forget what others think. It's much harder than you think to simply forget. In one hand you never want to give them that satisfaction yet in the other - you begin to doubt yourself.

Sometimes you have to be reminded that bullies feel big and strong when they belittle others. They have it all wrong and most likely harder than you do. Perhaps if I knew and understood where their hate stems from, I could help. They have their own demons they are clearly dealing with.

Thank goodness for Kris. She would assure me that what I was doing - took courage. When I would get a hurtful comment. I would remind myself what she said to me. She would say all of the right things. She'd say " Good for you, man. Forget about the  ones who are trying to bring you down." Side note: we actually call each other man all of the time.More importantly; she reminds me that I should be surrounded by those only trying to build me up. I've always been one to confide and open my heart to those who have shown honesty, loyalty, trustworthiness and respect.

This blog was for me to open up to the World on a deeper level. If you don't enjoy it - please feel free to press the little "x" icon. I'd talk to my brother about it knowing he had gone through the same ordeal. Why is it that when your light shines bright - people try to dim it. Should we not support each other to succeed in life? To constantly do better in life? To lift each other up when we feel down and out? It's clear the World would be a better place if we spent half our time doing so. My advice to you should you be facing your own challenges; Rise above it. You're in complete control of your own destiny. Don't let others define you. You're you for a reason. I've come to love who I am.

For those of you who have reached out, thank you.

If you are facing your own troubles; read this little poem.

You are who you are for a reason

by Russell Kelfer -